Dumb Warnings

[ThePentiumGuy]

Hey,

 

You guys have to check this out:

http://www.dumbwarnings.com

 

It's a list of retarded warnings that companies in the manual.

 

Some of my fav's:

 

Unknown Hair Coloring

Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Unknown Air Conditioner

Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Life saving device

This is NOT a life saving device!!!

7 Up

Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially when opening.

Swansea Institute of Higher Education, Wales, UK

A letter distributed to staff and students included the following message:

 

For safety reasons all staff and students are reminded that the taking of hot drinks out of the Refectory / fast food areas is strictly forbidden.

 

Several slipping accidents have already occurred as a result of liquid being spilt on the floor and the probability of someone suffering from a serious scalding accident whilst walking along busy corridors and getting into crowded lifts is high.

 

Your full cooperation in ensuring that you do not put yourself and others at risk is required.

Tesco Fruit Juice Carton

On bottom side: "Keep Upright".

Sainsburys Mineral Water

Suitable for vegetarians.

Slush Puppy Cup

(On the side of the cup) "This ice may be cold"

 

Child-Sized Superman Costume

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

 

Hehe, this one's great:

Various Computers

Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue

 

Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone

The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book:

 

To place or answer a call, lift the handset.

To place a call, dial the desired number.

To end the call, hang up the handset.

 

Another gem, also on Page 4:

To put a call on Hold: Press "Hold".

 

Blockbuster Rental DVD

Be kind - rewind.

Nabisco Easy Cheese

For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners

This product must be cooked before eating.

 

There's a lot more, just check out the link I posted above.

 

-The Pentium Guy

Edit: Oh crap, my font screwed up. Bah oh well

[ThePentiumGuy]

Some more, coudln't resist:

 

Unknown Birth Control Pills

Do not use if you are pregnant, intend to become pregnant, or might be pregnant.

Nytol Sleep Aid

Warning: May cause drowsiness

Boot's Childrens Cough Medicine

Do not drive a car or run machinery.

 

Unknown Christmas Lights

Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

(wth?)

 

Komatsu Floodlight

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Unknown Fire Extinguisher

Caution: Non-Flamable

Energizer AAA 4 Pack

If swallowed, promptly see doctor.

 

Unknown Mattress

Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

 

Unknown Matches

Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Unknown Korean Kitchen Knife

Keep out of children.

 

Unknown Diving Board

All divers must land in water!

On Rear of Big Rig, San Fransisco, CA

Warning! Do not attempt to drive under, over, or through this truck. If you should choose to ignore this warning, good luck and have fun! Do not pass on right side

 

Claymore Anti-Personal Mine

DO NOT EAT

 

 

Ansell Condoms

Do not return used condoms to the manufacturer through the mail.

 

Machettee

caution: this tool will cut

 

Signs:

 

Interstate 10, Near Phoenix, AZ

State Prison: Do Not Stop for Hitchhikers

Highway 26, Idaho Falls, Idaho

Warning to tourists: don't laugh at the natives.

Unknown Location

The sign reads, "Ignore this sign".

Rim Drive, Durango, CO

Warning: Do Not Hit This Sign

Braille menu available upon request.

Picture menu available for those unable to read.

 

 

Braille menu available upon request.

Picture menu available for those unable to read.

 

Throughout the UK

Children Drive Slowly

(reworded, without the comma after children, or so it seems)....

 

A gas pump

The sign reads, "Please Pre-Pay in advance."

 

Champion Bowling Alley

A sign over the alley reads: "Please roll ball"

Church Parking Lot Sign

Thou shalt not park

 

Road Construction Points, New Jersey

Various state-issued construction signs in a childish handwriting say

 

"Slow down my daddy (and mommy) works here"

and

"FREE Speeding Tickets Ahead!" <-- I've actually seen these 2...! There's one in logan airport

 

Other stuff:

Unknown 500-piece puzzle

Some assembly required.

"Guess Who" Game

Note: Game pieces do not actually talk.

 

Swedish Chainsaw

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

 

-The Pentium Guy

[AFterlife]

Its a product of all the lawyers in our society. If its not explicit people will sue the crap out of other people. But its funny none the less.

[ThePentiumGuy]

Heh, yeah I hate that. Stupid fools need guidance in everything. Some guy robbed a house, and went to the garage. He closed the door behind him, and it locked. So he tried using the garage door. Apparently the thing wasn't working. He got stuck in the garage for 3 days, starved. After the people came back (from vacation or something), they found him and arrested him. After getting out of jail, the guy sued the garage door company (apparently) for malfunctioning garage door openers. He won.

 

Go figure,

-The Pentium Guy

[EFileTahi-A]

Heh, yeah I hate that. Stupid fools need guidance in everything. Some guy robbed a house, and went to the garage. He closed the door behind him, and it locked. So he tried using the garage door. Apparently the thing wasn't working. He got stuck in the garage for 3 days, starved. After the people came back (from vacation or something), they found him and arrested him. After getting out of jail, the guy sued the garage door company (apparently) for malfunctioning garage door openers. He won.

 

Go figure,

-The Pentium Guy

 

ROTFL!!!!!!